If by now you haven’t seen Rachel Dratch’s hilarious turns as “Debbie Downer” on Saturday Night Live, here’s a quick recap: whenever she’s out with her group of friends, at dinner or a cocktail party or something, and the conversation is light and easy, Debbie always throws a wrench into the works by spouting off something intensely depressing, like the statistics of cats who die of feline leukemia, immediately ruining the lighthearted fun.  I’m willing to bet you know a Debbie Downer or two.  And not just the types who are always telling you some intensely depressing fact about the world, but the types who never have anything positive to say about themselves either.  You know who I mean.  You try to give her a compliment, and all she can do is attempt to prove that the compliment is undeserved.  Or you’re just having a meal together, and all she can talk about is how she can’t have dessert, because she’s “too fat.”  

And we can attempt to prove the Debbie Downers wrong, tell them they’re not fat, assure them that their dress really is lovely, but none of those attempts will really fix the problem.  At some point we need to tell the Debbie Downers (even the ones lurking within us) to just “shut up.”  We need to tell them that we’re not going to let them talk about anyone, including themselves (and ourselves) in such a negative way.  In the words of a song you’ve probably heard, “we’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, don’t mess with Mr. In-Between.”  So start small: the next time someone gives you a compliment, smile broadly and say “thank you” sincerely.  When a friend tries to refute a compliment, tell her to cut it out and accept her own awesomeness.  And when a dinner partner is bashing herself, say, “I don’t let anyone talk about people that way, even if they’re talking about themselves!”  Maybe before you know it, we won’t know any Debbie Downers anymore.